


One, Two, Three

by Cards_Slash



Series: Arabian Stallions [4]
Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Dirty Talk, It's all sex, M/M, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2014-03-23
Packaged: 2018-01-16 18:59:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1358386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cards_Slash/pseuds/Cards_Slash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>wherein Kadar is traumatized by vagina, Malik can't help but think he should have some sense of normal morality left and Altair has no problems having sex with two brothers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One, Two, Three

Malik lived by ground rules. They were simple, easy to remember and most of the time exceedingly easy to follow.

1\. Don’t become attached to clients.  
2\. Don’t have sex with clients outside of work.  
3\. Don’t open a new box of cereal until the old one was gone.  
4\. Don’t ever, for any reason, have sex with the same person, at the same time as your brother unless you are being paid a ridiculous sum of money for it.

Altair was single-handedly responsible for breaking three of the four of his top four ground rules. His very existence had challenged everything that Malik held to be True and Right in the world (not everything but the important things like not mixing business and pleasure). Malik had _lost sleep_ trying to work out if he was the world’s luckiest or the world’s stupidest person ever. Most of the time he sided with luck but now-and-again, he found himself wondering if dating Altair wasn’t the stupidest thing he’d ever done, ever.

\--

“But I don’t want to go see Ms. Carver again,” Kadar whined. He was halfway through getting dressed for the appointment when he came down the hallway to complain about it again. He was shirtless as he worked his belt through the loops on his pants and all but jumped and down while waving his arms around. 

“Shut up,” Malik said. He was dressed already with his overnight bag at his feet, waiting (im)patiently for his stupid brother to finish the usual routine. Altair was texting him updates about Ezio’s steadily deteriorating mental condition over sports. There were a few that contained speculation that Ezio may or may not have developed a gay crush on one or more of the players. “Get ready.”

“Promise me no oral sex,” Kadar said. 

These were the normal conversations of their abnormal lives. Malik glared at him over the top of the phone. “If I promise will you please go put your fucking clothes on?” 

“Yes,” Kadar said. And he all but skipped down the hallway after he was freed from the responsibility of performing oral sex on a woman. When he came back he was delightfully chatty and wonderful, almost giddy with the prospect of a truly decent paycheck. 

\--

“It was worse than I remembered,” Kadar said when they were safely in their car. “I forgot everything I thought I knew about vagina. How do you make that look so easy? It’s like—a maze or something. It’s like a fucking puzzle. What the hell are you even supposed to do down there?”

“It’s not a puzzle,” Malik said. “And why are you complaining? I took care of the hard part.”

“I need a drink,” Kadar said. “Think Altair would want to go get a drink with us? I mean I know you’re going to see him after you get rid of me but it’s not inconceivable that you may want your only brother to hang out with the guy you’ve been dating for like four months.”

“Are you going to cry about vagina the whole time?” Malik asked. He wasn’t sure if he wanted Kadar to be stuck in the same obnoxious loop in front of Altair to drive home the point that he, Malik, was clearly the hotter and more reasonable brother or for Kadar to calm down and be normal so Altair didn’t quietly think his family was insane.

“Only half the time,” Kadar promised.

\--

Altair volunteered to drive them to the pub. He was all dizzying-smiles at the notion of being able to actually see Kadar. They talked about nothing-really in the pub except food, sports and weather as they ate dinner and drank decent beer. Kadar demanded they stop at a liquor store before they headed home.

\--

“But vagina, man, seriously,” Kadar was saying. His face was pink from drinking and his shirt had been pulled open at some point because his chest was showing through the gaping buttons. Altair was a welcome-warm-weight against Malik’s back as he leaned back against him on the couch. 

“I think you’re putting too much thought into it,” Altair said. He was sipping the last of his drink (the second-or-third one after they all agreed just one more). His neck was flushed and his body was fidgeting under Malik’s. The easy sprawl of his thighs made room for Malik to sit and it gave him plenty of room to sneak his hand behind his back to trace the center seam of his jeans. “Stop it,” Altair hissed against the sweat-damp hair at Malik’s temple.

Oh but he was warm-all-over from too many drinks and the simple pleasure of laughing hard over stupid things. There was a heated weight in the bottom of his belly that was making his dick perk up with ideas about the sort of things he could do to Altair right-this-second. 

Across the room Kadar was sitting in his lone chair with a drink set on the table next to it. His eyes were dark and his lips were red with _envy_ and _want_ because they had made a living out of learning each other’s body language and moving to compliment it. Kadar knew exactly what he was doing and exactly-what-he was thinking. 

It was only Altair, squirming in place behind him as he tried to move away from and push up against him simultaneously, that had no idea what was happening. “Malik,” he hissed with his hand diving between their bodies to grab his wrist. His hand was tight-and-pinching as he dragged Malik’s hand away. 

Kadar was already getting to his feet and Malik-fully-sober would have snarled at him like a wild beast defending what was rightfully his. Because Altair-belonged-to-him and he wasn’t about to share him with his stupid little brother. Except right now, because Malik was slipping off the couch and turning over so he was on his knees in time with Kadar’s body crawling up onto the couch to lean against Altair’s side. 

It was Malik’s hands on Altair’s pants and Kadar’s hand on his face turning him to look away. Malik was inching boxers-and-jeans down as Kadar licked his way into Altair’s drunken-mouth as he mumbled curious little objections. “You’re so hot,” Kadar was mouthing into Altair’s skin, whispering the words into the thin space between his lips. His tongue was pink and his body was leaning in toward Altair like he was fucking magnetized. “Let us make you feel good, we can do it. Don’t you remember what it was like—”

Altair’s eyelids were getting heavy, his breath was needy pant and one his hands was hovering in the space just above Kadar’s body like he couldn’t shake off the last of his indecision. He tore himself away from looking at Kadar to glance down at Malik tugging his jeans off his legs. He said, “Malik?” like asking for permission. 

Malik put one hand on his thigh and the other against the couch to lift himself up and kiss Altair. His mouth tasted like brown-liquor, and the reflexive way he relaxed into the kiss and pulled at Malik to be closer was _devastating_. “We’ll take care of you,” he promised.

Altair groaned at the words, at Kadar turning his face so he could kiss him, at Malik slipping back down between his naked thighs. There was a bottle of lube under the couch from last-time Altair managed to subvert his ground rules and get his way. They had made a regular habit out of fucking in the living room. He slicked his fingers and curled one hand around Altair’s thigh to drag him so his hips were right at the edge of the couch.

“You taste so fucking good,” Kadar was whispering into Altair’s skin. His mouth was plucking pink marks up on Altair’s chest as he worked his way down to his nipple. Altair’s head was rolled back and his eyes were closed but he managed to hook a leg around Malik’s shoulder to pull him closer. 

Malik gripped the base of his dick in one hand and rubbed the blunt edge of two fingers against Altair’s hole, teasing with intent little circles as he leaned forward to rub the rough stubble of his cheek over Altair’s hard dick. His whole body jerked at the motion, lifting up away from the couch with enough strength to lift Kadar with him. 

“Fuck,” Altair gasped. He fisted his hand in Kadar’s hair and pulled him back up to kiss him. His hands were shoving the shirt that was barely clinging to Kadar off. Kadar tugged Altair’s shirt off and threw it over the back of the couch. They fell back into kissing, Kadar’s hands on Altair’s face as he held him still to kiss him deeper-and-harder. Malik pushed two fingers into Altair’s still-squirming body as he ran his tongue across the wet head of his dick. “Oh fuck,” Altair groaned again, “Malik.” 

Kadar had one hand down between his legs, fingers cupped-around-stroking his dick through his pants as he looked down the pale arch of Altair’s body. His cheeks were ruddy and his tongue was at the corner of his mouth. “Fuck me,” he mumbled. 

Altair was useless with something in his ass, nothing more than a nerve ending that liked every kind of touch that it could get. Malik had never seen anyone reduced so quickly or so completely to an animal state as Altair. It was hot as hell to watch the man writhe and squirm and to hear the urgent little mumblings of his want-and-need. He was licking at his lips, watching Malik suck on the head of his dick and blindly groping at Kadar. “Why pants?” he said to Kadar. 

“Fuck, I don’t know.” Kadar stood up long enough to strip his pants off, stopping only long enough to rescue one of the condoms out of his back pocket. He knelt on the floor to feel around for the bottle of lube that Malik had put back in its unofficial hiding spot. “Where is it?”

Malik moved far enough away from Altair to reach his free hand under the couch and find the stupid bottle and gave it to his brother. Kadar grinned at him like the asshole that he really was and blew him a sweet kiss. 

“Do you kiss?” Altair asked. 

“Sometimes,” Kadar said. He was up on his knees on the couch again. He handed the condom to Altair who looked confused for a moment. It was an endearingly stupid look on his face, something between dumb shock and genuine confusion. Kadar kissed him gently and said, “I need you to stick that big, beautiful dick in me.” 

Altair looked at him. Malik pulled him down into his lap, felt the eager stretch of his body as he wrapped his legs around Malik’s body and put his arm over his shoulder. He kissed him with desperation, pressed his palm against Malik’s cheek with the condom wrapper still between two of his fingers. His hips were grinding forward to rub the wet tip of his dick against Malik’s body. 

Kadar was behind them on the couch, slouching in the space Altair had just been taking, one slippery hand on his own dick and the other down rubbing two slippery fingers against his hole. “You know you’re not going to do it,” Kadar said over Altair’s shoulder. 

Malik kissed Altair again and then pushed him forward, turned him around so he was crawling over Kadar’s eagerly-spread body. They kissed like idiots, with Kadar stealing back the condom to rip it open and reach between their bodies. Malik dug another condom out of Kadar’s discarded pants and stood back to get naked. 

“Oh shit,” Kadar mumbled. Altair was pushing his knees up to his chest, staring down between their bodies as he lined himself up to fuck into Malik’s little brother (right in front of him). They were fumbling-stupid-drunks getting it wrong once or twice before Kadar’s hand went between them and they were both groaning long-and-low as Altair pushed forward. “Fuck,” Kadar said, “fuuuuck.”

“Why are you so tight?” Altair gasped. He sounded amazed-and-overwhelmed, panting like he’d run for miles as he leaned his weight into the tight grip he had on Kadar’s thighs. The muscles of his back and ass were shivering from the effort of holding still while Kadar laid beneath him with his mouth wide-open and his eyes squeezed shut. One of his arms was over the back of the couch and the other was curled loosely around Altair’s hip. 

“I’m not tight, you’re too fucking big,” Kadar said with a whimper little whine in his voice. But he dug his hand in tight when Altair moved to pull out and got one of his legs free to wrap it around his body as added-emphasis. “No, stay. You should definitely know how good this’ll feel in a minute.” Kadar grinned like a fool and used the barest touch of his fingers on Altair’s chin to pull him in to kiss him. His hands were on Altair’s skin, over his back and ribs and down to his hips where he gripped his ass as they both groaned. “I love your body,” Kadar said between wet-kisses. 

Altair rocked his hips—just slightly—with a breathy hiss of effort. 

“Look at your abs,” Kadar said. His thumbs were down tracing the lines of Altair’s muscles, his tongue a wet-pink slip against his lips. The whole of his face had gone flush with effort. He balanced his heels against the edge of the couch as he tilted his hips up to greedily meet Altair’s hips with every thrust. 

Malik dropped back onto the couch, shoulder-to-shoulder with his brother. Kadar turned to look at him with half-closed eyes and a drunken-pleased-smile on his face. (Spoiled, that’s what he was, too used to always getting what he wanted.) Altair was staring at them, still rocking his hips in gentle little waves. Kadar leaned into Malik’s body, used his lube-slippery-dick-smelling hand to grab his face and pull him in for a kiss. They didn’t do it often, (because ground rules) but they’d done it often enough to fall into without a moment of hesitation. Kadar was always eager-and-energetic with his tongue in Malik’s mouth. 

And fucking noisy, always so fucking noisy. The kiss was a vibration of grunts and moans and sweet-tasting little whines until he pulled back. Altair was holding onto his thighs as he fucked into him faster-and-harder now, still staring right at the trail of spit that rain between their mouths as Kadar moved back. 

“Yeah,” Kadar breathed. He tipped his head back, braced his elbow against the dented cushion and reached the other hand up to blindly pet at Altair’s skin. “Fuck me,” he said. 

Malik dropped a hand to his own aching dick, stroking in time to the pace Altair set. The hard slaps of their bodies coming together was a filthy back beat to the slippery-wet sounds of his hand moving on his dick. His breath was coming faster and he couldn’t make himself care that he was watching his brother getting fucked by his boyfriend because Altair’s fucking body was a work of fucking art.

“Oh,” Kadar was saying, “you feel so good, you magnificent fuck, oh shit—you were fucking made for this.”

Altair tipped his head back as his fingers dug in hard to Kadar’s thighs and his rhythm faltered. His teeth were over his bottom lip as his hips stilled and he shivered in place. Kadar was petting him again, fingers pinching at his dark-pink nipples. 

“Hey,” Malik said. Altair looked at him, at his face and down his body to where Malik was still jerking himself off. “This is your audition, if you come before he does I’ll never let you fuck me.” Because he had standards, of course, not because he wanted to see what Altair would do with a little incentive.

Oh-and-his-smirk, that offensively arrogant grin. “If I get him to come, I get to fuck you tonight.”

Kadar let out a soft little noise at that. 

“But it won’t happen,” Malik said, “he’s a professional and you’re a shoddy amateur.”

Altair was staring right at him as he pulled out of Kadar and rolled him over onto his stomach without so much as a warning. Kadar’s knees hit the floor with two dull thuds and he grunted in objection as he got his elbows up under him. His face was caught between too-fucking-aroused to function and a childish annoyance. “I was enjoying that dick you took from me,” Kadar said to him or to Altair or to universe in general.

Altair found the lube and slicked himself again before he lined back up and sank into Kadar with one-long-motion. He was-taller and-thinner than Kadar when he laid across his back and wrapped one arm around his waist and kissed the wrinkles at the back of his neck. His voice was a quiet-dark-murmur when he said, “I want to hear you.” He was grinding into Kadar as he spoke, one of his hands slipping around to pinch and twist at his nipple.

“Oh fuck,” Kadar said, “you fucking tease.” He slapped his hand against Altair’s ass and pulled him in as if he could get him any-deeper in him. “Fuck me.”

“When I’m ready,” Altair said. Oh-and-the-unforgiving hard edge in his voice made Kadar shiver under him. His eyes were squeezed shut and he moaned as he spread his knees farther and tilted his ass up and Altair slapped him on the thigh hard enough to leave a pink-outline of his hand. 

Malik rubbed his free hand through Kadar’s hair, ruffled it up and away from his face. “Fuck him,” he said.

And Altair did, dug both of his hands into Kadar’s waist and started fucking him hard enough to make the couch quake under him. It was an unforgiving-hard-pace and Kadar was gasping and groaning with every jerk of his body as Altair pounded into him. His voice was a constant litany of filth.

“Oh-fuck-don’t stop, your fucking dick feels so fucking—oh-God. Fuck me, oh shit, oh—oh—”

“Stop,” Malik said. He stilled his own hand and watched Altair’s indecisive shudder as he fucked forward into Kadar hard enough to make his brother’s breath punch out of his throat and then stopped. They were both covered in sweat, skin gone red, and Kadar growled something wordless and rocked his ass up against Altair’s thin hips with a shivering-tight-shudder in his thighs. 

“I fucking hate you,” Kadar said. His face was pressed against Malik’s thigh, his hand clutching at his leg just beneath the knee. “Fuck, Altair—please fuck me, please. I’m so fucking close I just need a little more, please fuck me, please—you’re so fucking big, I’ve never had a dick fill me up like yours—oh—”

But Altair was looking right at him now, mouth open and body taut with effort. His hands were running up and down Kadar’s back, tracing nonsense patterns in his sweat. 

“Is he still tight now?” Malik asked.

Altair nodded. 

Malik looked down at Kadar, at his own hand in his brother’s hair, at the needy open sprawl of his mouth as he mumbled drunken pleas for more. Altair folded forward across Kadar to touch Malik, to rub the flat of his palm across his chest and neck. His hips jerked reflexively when his fingers touched Malik’s mouth and slid inside just enough to touch his tongue. 

“Bastard,” Kadar gasped, “tell him to fuck me, tell him to fuck me hard and not to stop.” He had one hand between his thighs, working furiously at his dick as he humped his ass back against Altair. “Malik, stop ignoring me.”

Altair’s hand went around his neck and pulled him forward. He kissed him all sloppy-and wet, out of sync with the way his body was being moved by the unashamed jerk of Kadar fucking himself on Altair’s dick. Malik kissed him back just as sloppy and half coordinated. “Let me fuck your brother, Malik.” 

“Not sure he deserves you,” Malik said.

“Shit,” Kadar said from somewhere beneath them. He dug his teeth into Malik’s thigh hard enough to leave a mark and Malik smacked him on the head. “Please,” Kadar whined again, “I’m so fucking close.” 

Malik leaned back into the couch, tipped his head so he could see his little brother’s flushed face and his pout. Altair’s hands folded over his shoulders and Kadar moaned again in hopeful anticipation. “Fuck him,” Malik said, “until I tell you to stop.”

Altair panted a moan and Kadar mumbled his thanks as Altair started thrusting into him again. Every motion was shallow-and-fast and loud with the slap of wet skin on skin. Kadar was squirming in place, reduced to mumbled whines and incoherent words. He was jerking himself off as he gasped into the hairy skin of Malik’s thigh. He came with a strangled-gasp, body tight and rigid in a way that made Altair gasp a curse of shock but he kept fucking into him, harder-now-as he sucked wet breath in and made low murmuring mms. 

Every muscle on Altair’s body was twitching-and-tight with the effort of not coming balls-deep in Kadar. He was sweating and breathless from constant fucking but he didn’t falter, didn’t slow at all, just kept fucking into Kadar through the height of his orgasm. He was staring at Malik while he did it, eyes half-closed and mouth open. 

Malik rolled forward to get the lube and pulled the leg Kadar wasn’t gasping against up as he slouched down. The lube was a slippery-cool puddle on his belly and he ran his fingers through it before he moved them down to rub against his hole. He wasn’t in the habit of getting fucked but now-and-again it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Kadar-and-Altair made it look like the best fucking thing in the whole fucking world with the way they begged for it. 

“Oh shit,” Kadar whined, “you fucking beast.” His voice was wet and ragged. Kadar kissed the side of his thigh as he ran his fingers through the spilt lube and reached down to push two of them into Malik. 

Oh-fuck-and it wasn’t anything they’d ever done before and it was wrong(er than normal) but Malik gasped at the sensation and Altair went dead still at the sight. His hands were digging bruises into Kadar’s skin as he stared at them. Malik spread his thighs wider and Kadar moved so he was leaning against the inside of his leg as he fucked two fingers into him with the same utter shamelessness he used to beg for dick. Altair leaned forward to get his fingers wet and moved them down to push another inside of him, slipping easily between two of Kadar’s. 

In some other-world where drunken threesomes didn’t happen between brothers and their boyfriend and Malik wasn’t too drunk to care, the sudden stretch of three fingers in his ass might have been something like pain. “Oh God,” Malik said. 

Kadar was grinning at him, fucking his fingers up and in even as Altair slid another one. “You’re going to look so fucking good split open on his dick, Malik. It’s more than you’ve ever taken before with those idiot twats you dated in college.” There was a catch of breath there as Altair pulled out—shuffled on his knees until he was right between Malik’s spread knees. Kadar was crawling back up onto the couch, fingers slipping free from his body. “He’s going to fuck you and I’m going to watch.” 

“You have a filthy mouth,” Malik said.

Kadar pulled the condom that Malik had dropped up and tore it open with a grin. He handed it over to Altair who pulled his fingers free from Malik’s body to take it. “One of us should,” he said. He kissed Malik again, slipped his tongue into his mouth with a presumptive little murmur and then pulled back. “You should ride him, you know how you like to be in charge.”

Altair turned so he was sitting with his back against the couch and grabbed Malik’s leg to pull him off the edge of the couch. His dick was hot-and-red-and hard as hell when Malik slid into his lap. He put his back to Altair’s chest and settled on his knees over him, leaning up just for enough to get Altair’s dick lined up before he started pushing down. The stretch was a wicked burn—not entirely unpleasant or unwelcome—

“Oh shit,” Altair said behind him, “you’re so tight.”

“I told you,” Malik said. He pushed back until he was sitting against Altair, until the whole of his dick was inside. It was all he could feel-or-think and it made his head spin as he put his hands against Altair’s knees and leaned forward. “I don’t do this.”

Altair’s hands were touching him, at his back and his chest and his thighs. He was petting him everywhere, getting lower and lower until his thumb was rubbing all along the slick-and-tight stretch of his body around Altair’s stupidly big dick. “You’re so fucking hot. You look so good sitting on my dick.”

“Fuck,” Malik said. He rocked his hips and smiled at the way Altair followed after him like he couldn’t stand the idea of not being buried to the hilt in his ass. Malik caught one of his hands and pulled it around to his dick. Altair started stroking him and Malik took a moment to appreciate the sensation before he started fucking himself back on Altair in earnest. 

“You’re such a top,” Kadar said from somewhere over his shoulder.

Malik smirked at that. He lifted himself up-and-off Altair before he turned around so he was facing him. “Lay down,” he said. Altair slid to the side so he was laying on the ground and Malik straddled his hips again, used his hand to hold Altair’s dick steady as he sank down onto him again. He smiled at the flinch that went straight through Altair’s body and the way he thrust up into him. “How do I feel?”

“Tight,” Altair said, “and soft and wet and hot.” He was stroking Malik’s dick again, licking at his wet lips with that beautiful-desperation in his face because he was so close to getting off it was a physical ache somewhere low in his body. 

“Do you like it?” Malik asked, “like the way I feel all around you? Like how I look when I’m stuffed full of your dick.” He shifted his knees a little, rocked his hips just enough to punctuate his words. 

“Yes,” Altair said like a prayer. 

Malik fucked forward into Altair’s loosening grip on his dick and back onto Altair’s dick in his ass. He moved slow and steady, drawing almost completely off before moving to take him back in. He wasn’t a fan of most of the things involved in bottoming but he liked the long-slow slide, liked the way Altair was staring at him like he was made of something precious and the needy-little pants of breath with every-motion of his body. “Do you like it better than my dick in you?”

Altair groaned at that, fingers getting tighter around Malik as his hips lifted up to push into him faster. He was pushing his heels to the ground now, using the leverage to fuck up into him in short-fast thrusts. 

“Come right now and I’ll let you suck my dick,” Malik said. Kadar-and-Altair groaned at the words, “but you have to come right _now_.”

“Ok,” Altair mumbled and he thrust up into him with a full-body shudder and both of his hands grabbing at Malik’s knees like searching for a handhold in the suddenly spinning world. He arched up from the ground as he came, body a confusing mess of twitching muscles and missed breaths. 

Malik turned to look at Kadar with a smirk and his brother rolled his eyes at him. “Such a fucking top.” Malik shuffled forward so he was over Altair’s blushing chest, ran his fingers through Altair’s sweaty hair as the man got one hand around his dick and stuck his tongue out to lick at the wet tip. 

“That was good,” Malik told him, “I’m impressed.”

“I’d be impressed if your dick was in my mouth like you promised,” Altair said. He gripped Malik’s ass to pull him forward, and moaned happily when his dick slid into Altair’s mouth. After a distracting wiggle, two of his fingers were slipping back into Malik’s ass as he sucked at his dick. Malik was going to tell him it was just a fucking lost cause but the fingers were rubbing lightly against his prostate and Altair was greedily slurping at his dick and there was really no reason to complain. He rocked his hips gently until Altair’s pleased noises turned disgruntled and his blissfully closed eyes opened to look up at him with a questioning stare. 

“More?” Malik said. He wasn’t going to last a minute fucking longer if he started fucking Altair’s stupid face. But he wasn’t going to turn down the opportunity when the man was so happily sucking his dick and _asking_ for it. He leaned forward to put one hand against the ground and moved a little faster, fucked into Altair’s mouth shallowly again-and-again until two hands on his hips dragged him in deep on the down thrust and he barely had time to offer a warning before he was coming _hard_. Altair pushed him back when he started to choke and ended up with the last bit of white come across his flushed face and eager-pink tongue. 

Malik moved down to kiss him, licked at his own come to let Altair suck it out of his mouth and rubbed his sensitive-dick all over Altair’s hard-flat stomach until he collapsed in place on him.

“Disgusting,” Kadar said. “It’s actually disgusting how pretty you two are when you fuck. I’m disgusted.” 

\--

Malik woke up suffocated between two clingy bodies. Kadar was plastered all against his back with one of his arms thrown around his chest. Altair was doing a poor job as the little spoon all against his front. They were all naked—completely fucking naked as the day they were born. 

It wasn’t necessarily the worst case scenario. There had been a certain amount of inevitability when he first started drinking with the two of them. If not inevitability than a very real and very high probability.

The ache in his ass was somewhat unexpected though. Malik made a wordless grunting noise to announce that he intended to extract himself from the pile. Kadar grumbled against the back of his neck. 

“What do you have against sleeping in?” he asked as he pulled away and flopped onto his back in the very limited space left on the bed. 

Altair rolled onto his belly and turned his head around to look at him. He was far too alert to have just woken up. His smile was heart-breaking and unsure of itself like he was just waiting for Malik to start screaming at him about something. (Honestly, if he were a better person with higher morals he probably should have been pissed about the whole thing.) 

“Do you think I’m disgusting,” Malik asked.

“I do,” Kadar said. He grabbed the alarm clock off the bedside table and then slapped it back down. “You’re so fucking disgusting. It’s not even eight AM.”

“No,” Altair said quietly. “It’s not exactly new information that you have sex with your brother, Malik. I don’t think we’d have made it this far if I thought that was a deal breaker.”

Altair was so very terrible for his ground rules. He just showed up and Malik forgot all about how he was supposed to have good intentions and some lingering sense of morality. “I love you,” he said. Malik kissed him because Altair’s smile was bright-as-fucking sunlight. 

“Wait,” Kadar said. He was leaning in over Malik’s body now, “does this mean I get invited to sexy threesome nights from now on?” His elbows were hard when they dug into Malik’s side and his grin was the same stupid one he’d had as a fat toddler. Malik elbowed him in the face and Kadar pinched his ass as he laid back down with a huff.

“I love you too,” Altair said softly. 

“You better,” Malik said. He kissed him again and then shoved himself up to climb off the bed. All of his muscles protested the movement—objecting in every possible way. Kadar was worming his way across the bed when he looked back, sneaking into the warmer place on the bed with a jaw-breaking yawn. “You should make us breakfast, Altair.”

“Why do I have to do it?” Altair grumbled.

“You topped,” Kadar said. Not that it mattered because he was going to be asleep again in five minutes or less. “I like toast. Make sure there’s lots of toast.”

Altair rolled his eyes and got out of bed. He found a pair of pants that he could pull on and followed Malik out of the bedroom. Malik’s bag was downstairs, he made a stop at the fabulous guest bathroom to shower away some of the unforgiving aches in his body (and to question his sanity, perhaps) and then went downstairs with a towel around his waist to find clothes.

Altair was sleeping on the couch with a spare throw pulled up over his face and his pale feet sticking out the end. Malik got dressed and went to find something to eat, ended up with some overly-sweet cereal. It was raining when he looked outside. 

He checked his phone to see if any last minute appointments had come in and found none (for the best really). Then he went back to the living room to turn on the TV, flipped through the channels until he found some early morning action movie that looked brainless enough to be entertaining. 

Altair woke up halfway through it and sat on the couch with a disgruntled yawn and amazingly bad bedhead. He frowned at the sunlight and the TV and the new stains on his couch. “Look at this, your brother is cleaning this up.”

“Good luck with that,” Malik said. 

“My knees hurt,” Altair said. “No more sex on the floor. Make a note of that.” He rubbed at his knees as if to punctuate the point. “Was I supposed to make breakfast?” But his frown was decidedly against the very notion of it. 

“Yes.”

Altair dragged himself up off the couch and shuffled over to the lone chair where Malik was sitting before plopping gracelessly on his lap. He put an arm over Malik’s shoulders and his legs across the arm of the chair. “Are you upset?”

That was a difficult thread to unravel. “I feel like if I were a decent person I’d be disgusted with myself. But I’m not disgusted.”

“Disgusted because we had sex with your brother?”

“Well, yes.”

Altair considered that a moment, like he was contemplating some deep truth in the universe. Then a pink blush came to his cheeks and he said, “well. When we were teenagers, one of my cousins and I had sex. Not like full out sex but hand jobs, some frottage—”

“Oh my God, which cousin?” Malik said. Because never-ever in a million years would he even slightly have thought any such thing about Altair. The man had seemed as uptight and rigidly moral as any other person who found themselves randomly ordering sex workers online. It was only after that when he devolved into a wanton creature bent on absolute sexual satisfaction by any means available. “Was it Ezio?”

Altair laughed at that. “No. Ezio is straight. Probably the straightest man I’ve met. He knows about it though because we kind of got into his father’s liquor this one time and he walked in on Desmond and I giving each other really terrible blow jobs.” 

“Desmond?” Malik said.

“Yeah. Anyway, it only happened over one summer and then we decided we were straight and Desmond spontaneously became attractive to women and I met my ex-wife. So—you really are not that much of a freak.” Altair shrugged at the whole debacle like it was just something that people _did_ with their relatives when they had too much spare time. 

“Right, so Desmond is clearly the next person we’re inviting to happy threesome night,” Malik said. 

“We’re not having another threesome until I recover from this one.” Altair kissed him. “What do you want for breakfast? Besides toast?”

“Surprise me,” Malik said. 

Altair kissed him again with one hand against his chest and the other hanging onto the back of the chair. He smiled against his mouth and hummed a happily contented little sound. “You remember you asked me if I liked fucking you more than I liked being fucked?”

“I do. But then you had an orgasm just so you could suck me off and I thought that was kind of the answer.” It seemed pretty damn definitive to him. 

“That’s what I like about you, you’re so smart.” Altair kissed him again and then climbed off his lap. “I need food. You should go wake your brother up so he can have his damn toast while it’s still hot.” He just narrowly managed to move out of the way of Malik slapping him on the ass and laughed as he disappeared back to the kitchen.


End file.
